A Look at the Differences Between China and the West Through an Interesting Lens: Parenthood
As China becomes an increasingly important world player, even raising hegemonic concerns, many stereotypes have surfaced. From "Asians can't drive" to "all Asians are good at math" they range from ridiculous to…surprisingly true. Amy Chua, professor at Yale Law School, delves into why all Asian kids seem to achieve academic excellence. So what's the reason? Chinese mothers.
- In her new book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, Amy Chua explains how Chinese mothers raise the stereotypically successful Asian children.
- It’s an eye-opening account of the differences between how Western parents and Asian ones raise their kids.
- The term “Chinese mother” is liberally used, often englobing “Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too.”
- So what exactly is a Chinese mother?
- There are three major differences between Chinese and Western parental values.
- While Western parents are preoccupied by their children’s self-esteem, Chinese parents believe in their children’s inherent strength.
- As a result, Western parents have a tendency to praise their child for anything resembling success.
- Chinese parents on the other hand will castigate their children for anything that isn’t excellence.
“Everyone is special in their special own way,” I mimicked sarcastically. “Even losers are special in their own special way. Well don’t worry, you don’t have to lift a finger. I’m willing to put in as long as it takes, and I’m happy to be the one hated. And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take them to Yankees games.“
Chua to her Jewish/Western husband
- An A- is good for a Western parent.
- An A- will cause a Chinese mother to purchase heaps of practice tests and sit with their child until the A- becomes a solid A.
- Chinese parents think that their kids owe them everything.
- Chua cites Confucian filial piety and the fact that Chinese mothers sacrifice long hours tutoring, training, interrogating and spying on their kids as the combination leading to this belief.
- Chinese children are meant to spend their lives working away at this debt by obeying their parents and making them proud.
- Chinese parents are convinced they know what is best for their children.
- Their kids desires and preferences are, as a result, ignored.
- Chua never let her kids (among other restrictions!) have a sleepover, be in a school play or play any instrument that wasn’t the piano or violin, which were both requirements.
“It’s not that Chinese parents don’t care about their children. Just the opposite. They would give up anything for their children. It’s just an entirely different parenting model.”
Chua
- Here are some numbers from from a study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers to prove just how true Chua’s words are:
-almost 70% of Western mothers declared that “stressing academic success is not good for children” and that “parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun”
-0% of Chinese mothers agreed.
-They stipulated that “academic achievement reflects successful parenting” and that children that did not excel revealed “a problem” and parents who “were not doing their job.”
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